Mistakes
by Fairylust
Summary: Mello and Matt have made some mistakes in their lives, but can they correct their biggest mistake...or not? Story better than what the summery may be. Oneshot, I guess you could say. :


After he'd heard of L's death…my best, no my only true friend grieved, alone. And I let him grieve alone. Near tried to comfort him…but…Mello never like him…despite the fact that…Near liked him, so…the albino was shoved (literally) away. I merely sat in my room…playing a game…like I would any other day…or night. On that dark, dark rainy night…my best friend decided to leave…to leave our home, the home we grew up in together, the home where we met and competed and helped each other…where we loved each other…at his young age…of fourteen, almost fifth-teen. He came to my room…I was still playing a game, like I would any other night, as I before stated. He wore a jacket…held a bag…but still wore his black clothing, with worn out sneakers.

"Matt," he said standing in the doorway, I barely acknowledged him, just paused my game and stared at the floor. "I'll be leaving now."

I saw him out of the corner of my eye at my friend, no, my _best_ friend. He looked sad and forlorn. Why was he informing me? Did he want me to stop him or to _go_ with him? Well, whichever it was, I wasn't going to please him, I wasn't going to comply. For once in my life I was going to be the bad guy who hurt Mello, for once I wasn't going to be nice to the blonde. I turned to him and glared. My sparkling, emerald green eyes filled by anger and distain. I quickly turned away from him and stared out the window, like an idiot.

"Ah…." I replied making Mello appear puzzled.

"When I'm gone, I won't come back, Matt." He said sadly.

I nodded curtly. "Bye…"

Confusion, hurt, anger and sadness washed over his face in seconds. "That's all you've got to say, then? 'Bye'? Nothing else?"

I glared at him again, but more intensely.

"If you're going to leave then leave, don't stick around to build up an attachment on somebody just so you can crawl back to them begging for forgiveness, like a worthless dog! But I guess we should both face it, that's all you are or ever will be, a worthless dog that everyone will take advantage of and spit on! Get out if you're leaving, but when you step foot out that front door don't even think of coming back, 'cause nobody will want you! Not even me, and that's a promise! So scram, don't just float in my air and take up all of my precious game time, scram, go away, get lost! Ya know that I really hate you!"

There was silence between us for a long time.

"I-is that how y-you really feel?" he asked, voice breaking.

I didn't answer or look at him. Of course it wasn't how I felt. I loved Mello and I wanted him to stay with me, but being a guy I couldn't swallow my pride and admit how I really felt. It wouldn't have made a difference would it, to just kill my pride and tell Mello the truth? A question gnawed at my

"Matt?"

I tried to ignore him.

"Matt?"

Still attempted to disregard the blonde.

"Matt?"

I gave him a glare.

He was silent, just standing there, staring at me with a shaky hand on his hip.

"What?" I murmured heatedly.

He shook his head, but I saw tears at the corners of his eyes. He turned on his heel and left out of the room. I let out a growl of frustration and threw my DS on my bed letting out another frustrated growl. How could I have been so unkind? Said such things? I looked out the window and saw light coming out the front door a shadow stood in the center of the light. I felt my heart miss a beat as the shadow faltered in moving.

Was he stopping?

Was Mello going to stay?

The door closed and all was still outside.

Yes!

I got through to him!

Suddenly the door opened and Mello came back in. His head was bowed, so I couldn't see his face. He moved slowly over to my closet and pulled out a large box, which contained chocolate bars. I didn't move a muscle as he lifted the box's lid and emptied all the chocolate into his bag. He removed something from his bag. A small box that was wrapped in red paper, a green ribbon and my name was written on the side in white paint.

I saw silent tears hit the expensive hardwood floor but I felt no guilt. He left out quickly after that. As soon as his footsteps faded down the hallway I watched from my window as the front door opened again and this time, Mello stepped out into the bitter coldness and left without any second thoughts. I watched until he disappeared from my eyesight and felt rage boil inside me. I slammed my face down on my bed and sobbed. Why did he leave? Was it my fault, Near's fault, L's fault or Kira's fault? I raised my head and fell backwards sprawling on the floor.

I knew L wouldn't ever do anything to hurt us, purposely, and I knew that Near sorta liked me and he really cared for Mello, even if he never outwardly expressed it, that left me and Kira. Well, I spoke pretty harshly to him, which was a huge mistake but I'd never want Mello to get hurt. So, it was all Kira's fault that he left me all alone. Yeah, that sounded about right. He murdered L, he murdered lots and lots of people and he was accounted as the world's newest and most vicious mass murderer. It made plenty of sense that it was his entire fault.

I opened the present Mello left me the next morning and found a new portable DS with a few new games, too and a couple of blank disks that I could upload information on, there was also a folded red card inside.

It read in black ink: _See ya around Matt. Thanks for being my best friend and a loyal companion. I've recently had feelings for you that are beyond friendship and know that you more than likely do, too although I must admit that your feeling probably aren't as strong as mine. I am sorry, but I've got to leave, now, I'm sorry, but it'd never work out between us. Don't dwell on the fact that you'll never know what could've been, please, make something of yourself, you're a smart kid. Be a teacher or a gang's hacker or a detective, or maybe even a game designer or computer technician, whatever you want, buddy, you can even be a rich tycoon. Honest. I believe you'll achieve it, Dearest Mello. _

It was upsetting to say the least. Mostly because I knew he was going to be in the middle of the whole battle with Kira and wasn't going to be there by his side to help him out, everything that I'd done, everything I said, it was all…a mistake.

About three years later I was called in by the CIA and asked to bust a Mafia drug/weapons deal. I was informed that once one of the sides gets a hold of some of the weapons they'd be assassinating a Russian pope. Wow, I got a chance to stop something really bad from occurring. Too bad that one thing wasn't Kira, but whatever. It sounded exciting and I hadn't felt excitement in a long, long while. Besides I as given not only the job to risk my life to catch some Mafia members and stop a plot to assassinate a Russian pope, but I was also given the task of transferring some money on a computer to an organization known as the SPK's account. I recognized the SPK as the organization Near was running in an attempt to catch Kira and Mello…well…I never heard from or about Mello, since he left the orphanage.

I, of course, accepted the mission I was given.

I was of course assigned a partner, a female partner to be exact. She was about a foot shorter than me with plump, cherry red lips that most guys would love. Her eyes were dark blue and sparkled like a diamond. Her hair was copper colored and fell past her shoulders. And her skin was pale, yet it glowed with a strange sense of beauty. For reasons that were beyond me she only wore dark blue or black with white outfits, usually black denim jeans with a black and white checkered top, and white sneakers.

My partner's name was Sophie Kurosaki, but I was only allowed to call her by her alias, which was Lexus. If I called her by her real name I could've been prosecuted as a traitor to the CIA and legally executed, all done within a couple of heartbeats. So, I called her Lexus. Not very feminine, in my opinion, but it was her choice. Just like it was my choice to be called Matt instead of Mail. Anyway, I was rather surprised that Lexus had an amazing sense of gay-dar. She knew I was gay the second she met me. Now, Lexus was no genius but she was smart enough to know that I craved blondes with blue eyes over any other type of person. We got along pretty well, except that she acted more like my babysitter, rather than my partner. She told me what and what not to do, who and who to speak with, but I didn't mind if anything it made me feel like I was at Mello's side again.

Well, the big night came that the deal was going to go down and I was totally ready, oh and Lexus was ready, too. She armed herself with two guns, a knife and a packet of poison darts. She wore all leather that night. Black leather, to be exact and the fact that she was religious and carried a rosary in her pocket didn't help the fact that she reminded me of my old blonde friend.

And to remember Mello every second I was around Lexus…well…hurt like a punch to the gut, given by some muscular wrestler, followed by a Donkey Kong monkey ripping out your heart and tossing it in a freakin' blender to make a pulpy smoothie that zombies will feast on after eating your corpse, which was slowly burning up some in acidic lava.

Huh…kind of makes me question myself if I play one too many video games, but of course I'll never admit to playing too many video games, just like I won't admit that smoking will kill me after like fifty to sixty…maybe seventy years. Lexus stared out the window at the club that was across the street from us, people, some of whom were still entering, filled it. It was a couple of yards away from an old, abandoned church. Lexus being as observant as she was pointed to it and gave me a look of complete disgust.

"That's where the deal will be held!" She declared.

"Yeah," I agreed. "Seems about right. It'd be the perfect place for any kind of deal to be held. Nobody actually expects things like this transaction to happen in or around churches, which allows drug lords and dealers to appear like saints when they do their deals near or around a church. They can make up an excuse really quickly."

"You'd know, wouldn't you, Matt?" Lexus snickered. "All you know about is drugs and weapons and men and their needs!"

"You're not one to joke." I smirked as I lit a cigarette and inhaled deeply, before exhaling.

"Whose joking?" she chuckled. Her chuckle quickly turned to a cough and a look of disgust. "Matt you should stop smoking. It's gross and can give you cancer."

"Tell me something I don't know; let's go." I chuckled as I tossed it out my window. We got inside easy. Now all we had to do was wait for our targets to arrive, then we could follow and bust them, and upload all the money to the SPK's account. Piece of cake…or so it sounded, turns out things never turn out as planned and that never occurred to me.

I stared out the window as I bit into my chocolate bar. I wondered what a certain redhead was doing. Ever since I left Wammy's he crossed my mind every now and again. If only he didn't say what he did that night. If only he joined me or stopped me…whatever. I shook him out of my head and reminded myself why I had to hate him. He was cold towards me when I told him I was leaving, he said some pretty harsh things, he didn't care about me enough, he totally hates me, he probably tossed the gift I gave him in the trash…that was all I got…damn, if only Matt hadn't been such a great friend, then it'd be easier for me to hate his guts.

I scowled as I thought it all over. I touched the rosary that hung from around my neck. _May God forgive me if this plan succeeds?_ I thought to myself. Being Roman Catholic I knew just how serious a sin it is to murder a pope...it was going-to-Hell-for-all-eternity-serious and I didn't want to be responsible for a pope's death. I swallowed every last bit of my nervousness after I estimated just how big a chance there was of anyone (FBI, CIA, CSI, NCIS, SPK, RCMP etc.) stopping us. It wasn't too big a chance, so I smiled knowing that I had a better chance at stopping the guys we're dealing with if I simply planted a bomb near or around their car…pretty big chance of saving myself from the pits of Hell…yeah I just had to make a car explode.

I chuckled thinking of how that'd make me an arsonist. I'd always tease Matt as a kid about him becoming an arsonist, and here I was ready to become one myself. I guess I touched my rosary a bit too long cause one of the four guys who were coming along with me looked at me with a raised eyebrow. He chuckled slightly and whispered to the guy next to him, which was the driver. Both of them laughed and snickered.

"What's so funny?" I snarled.

"Nothin' just can't believe you'd be the religious type." The driver snickered.

I rolled my eyes and scoffed. "Whatever, but if I were you I'd be thinking about whose more frightening me or my fist."

That shut him up.

"Why're you so tense?" the guy beside him asked. "You always threaten somebody when you get tense."

"Yeah, or annoyed, or nervous, or in a good mood, or just plain pissed off." I retorted. "Leave me alone, I'm thinking."

"When _aren't _you thinking." The driver muttered.

"Never." I whispered in reply.

As we parked I got out and couldn't help, but stretch. I watch as the others go off and I promise them that I'll catch up. The driver and his friend nodded and went ahead, but Rodd (a Mafia boss) gave me a steely look that was serious and meant to be intimidating. It didn't scare me though.

"What?" I asked returning his glare.

"You always wander off when we're making a trade or something." He replied taking a step towards me. "What do you do when we're not around?"

I shrugged with a smirk. "Chocolate. Alcohol. Chocolate. Dunno I just do things I feel like. Nothing that'd jeopardize anything we do or plan…oh wait, I mean _I _plan, because the last guy who planned things for ya nearly got you all killed."

"You love rubbing that fact in, don't you?" Rodd chuckled. "Yeah, you've been right about everything ever since you joined, fine, but when it comes time and you're not around, I'll come looking for you."

"Fair." I said clenching my fists.

"See ya around in an hour, Mello."

"See ya."

I went inside the club after a minute or two and was surprised to find that the opposing Mafia (if you'd call them that) was already there and waiting for us. I also noticed a few guys who were watching us. There were two men who watched Rodd while he spoke with the boss of the other participating party and I noticed a pair of young women who were also watching them. It was easy for me to deduct that they were here to stop us, while relieved I was also angry and frustrated by the new development. I gave a deep sigh of pure frustration. I was upset that everything was beginning to fall apart already.

To add to my misery I saw a familiar face heading towards me. He had dark hair and dark eyes and was fairly half a foot taller than I was and he was also fairly stronger than I was, which was a reason I hated him, he smiled smugly almost always, another reason that I hated him. His name…or alias was Jett. I hated his guts for thousands of reasons but the main one, oh the main one was because he kept coming on to me, and on more than one occasion tried to seduce me, but only to get ignored or hit by me. But lately he'd become more determined, more aggressive…and I hated him the most when he was aggressive. He almost raped me once, but a quick drugging knocked him out within seconds. From the smug look on his face and deadly glint in his eye I could tell he was feeling like trying that stunt again. I hoped that he wouldn't, mostly because I was in a hurry and didn't bring anything to drug him with…and I'd left my gun back in the car…damn! I gave him a cold glare as he came closer and closer.

A tiny, nagging voice in the back of my head ordered me to run, to move, but my legs disobeyed that order and kept me glued to the spot. I might've looked tough, felt tough, but deep on the inside, and, God knows, I mean _deep_ on the inside, I felt like a drowning kitten. Helpless, and frightened…and… and…well…drowning…dying? No other words came to my mind as Jett stood before me. Well, honestly, a few words came to mind, words I never thought I would think for as long as I lived.

The first word was: Somebody

Second word was: please

Third word was: help

And fourth word was: me!

It was half an hour til the deal went down and four of our guys had already spotted both participating parties and what few of their members had come to the deal were all in the room now. All had entered from the back entrance instead of the front. It made sense, since they were doing illegal activities and didn't wanna get caught by the CIA, or anyone else who'd be after them for that matter. Lexus seemed interested and puzzled by something that was happening across the room. I noticed, and felt worried. It was a fact that whenever she found something interesting, it was usually bad news…or just plain weird…or a bit of both...usually just the bad news, thing, but…whatever!

"What's caught your attention?" I asked nudging her shoulder.

"Look at that," she muttered motioning across the room with her head "isn't that man a target and what's with that blonde girl? They appear to be arguing."

I looked and my green eyes almost popped out of my skull. The guy, who she called a target, was of course a target, but the 'girl' she'd pointed out was _no_ girl. The blonde hair and angry, narrowed blue pools of hate and the rosary that was around their throat and the leather, which was worn, oh-so casually, I almost had a freakin heart attack. It was my old best friend/crush who ran off from Wammy's House three years ago and seemed to have disappeared from the face of the Earth without calling, writing or even texting me. No, it couldn't be I had to have been imagining it all. I was _not_ seeing Mello. I was _not_ seeing Mello letting some guy grab his wrist. I was _not_ seeing Mello trying to pull away from some guy who'd grabbed his wrist and failing, therefore getting pulled away reluctantly as the guy forced him out of the room and out the back door.

"Should we do something?" Lexus asked worriedly.

"Nope." I replied.

"What why? He could be planning to ra-"

"No," I interrupted her "that won't happen, it's all in your head, Lexus just keep your eyes on the other targets."

"Fine." She huffed.

I felt worried, though, not that I'd have admitted it at the time. I was too busy thinking of all the questions that ran through my mind. Why would Mello be at the club? Why on the same night as me? Was this fates sick way of toying with my emotions…my thoughts? Why was Mello with that guy? Why did he look so…so …frightened…angry…worried? Pleading…no…hateful? I couldn't come up with a word that described the look on Mello's face. All I knew was that he had to be in trouble, he was too reluctant, too defiant to wanna go along with that guy. Yeah, Mello was defiantly in a heap of trouble and whenever he got himself into trouble…well…I was always there to help him out. Of course the last time I'd helped him out was when we were kids back at the orphanage and he'd gotten into a fight with some jerk older than himself…but this didn't seem too different from then. If anything the situation was almost, exactly the same, in my mind.

"Matt we're going to switch positions, now," Lexus announced breaking into my train of thought "we've got to move on to the church, where the deal will be held, okay?"

"No, not okay." I muttered.

I started to move towards the back door. "I'll catch up okay?"

"Wait! Matt, we were instructed to not go off on our own, Matt!"

I ignored Lexus.

I had to help my friend, no matter what the consequences were. I was just loyal like that...well…huh…once I thought about it, I was only so loyal to Mello, nobody else. Once you're hooked on Mello, though, you can't stay away…not forever…I have had to learn that the hard way. Than again I did say a lot of harsh things, and let him walk away from me, which in the long run was probably one of my worst mistakes ever made, when I had a chance at stopping him. My guilty conscious was kicking in and I felt determined to find out what was happening to Mello. There was a building just behind the church, which we were supposed to go to, to stop the deal from taking place. The door to that building stood open and from the looks of things, I'd guess that Mello had been dragged into that dark, old place. I ran in and was surprised when I saw that there were two separating hallways upon entering. I was totally befuddled. I swallowed my confusion quickly as a loud shout decided which way to go, for me.

"Let me go!" I recognized that voice as none other than Mello's.

I sprinted down the hall until I came to a dimly, lit room. There was no door so I could peek in without worrying about getting caught opening a squeaky door. The guy, whom I remembered was called, Jett in his criminal file had Mello pinned against the wall with one arm held behind his back. Jett snickered as his prey struggled in a vain attempt to escape, not that he could move much, but Mello was, at least, trying to put up a fight. Jett snickered sinisterly as he shoved Mello's head against the wall, so that the blonde's face was pressed flat against the wall. I swallowed waiting for something to happen. Something…_nothing_…_anything_…I just needed some reaction…or a cue of some sort….

"Let me go!" Mello growled.

"Surely, Mello, you know that when it comes to physical strength I beat you, like a master beats his dog for trying to run away. That sounds about right, doesn't it? You do need a good beating, you know. What do you say, want to be my doggie, Mello, huh?"

"I'm not your damn dog!" Mello snapped. "I'm nobody's dog! Nobody!"

His free arm came up, as he tried to elbow Jett in his gut, but Jett saw it coming and caught Mello's arm and pinned it above the blonde's head, I could tell that Mello was starting to sweat and quiver from standing in his excruciating position for so long a time. I became nervous as Jett leaned close to the blonde and licked his earlobe. Mello tried to pull away, but couldn't and that just made his attacker express amusement, rather cruelly if I may say so. I watched as Jett released Mello's arm that he had pressed behind the blonde's back to produce some kind of copper cord from his back pocket. It didn't take long before Mello's wrists were tied mutually behind him. Alarm hung thick in the air, and I almost felt ready to take action…well, I did say…almost. Something about what was happening made me feel like I was watching some screwed up film that I couldn't turn away from.

"I don't know how you flirt with your superior, but I think I'd like some of that cute affection, Mello." Jett said as one of his hands touched some of Mello's revealed stomach and hips. "That'd be fine with you, wouldn't it? You've wanted some guy to screw ya for a long while, now right, what did you say his first name was?"

"It's not any of your business you damn prick!" the pissed off blonde snapped.

"Mutt or was it…maybe it was…Matt?" Jett said shrugging his shoulders not bothering to confirm it was my name. "I don't know we were totally wasted after taking in so much alcohol. Whatever, just pretend I'm him and you'll find this truly pleasurable…I know I will."

"Get off me you mother-fucking bastard!"

If I ever doubted the blonde this Jett guy wanted to rape wasn't Mello then the doubt was washed away by that single exclamation. Only _my_ Mello could use such foul language. He was the only one who could talk like that and still keep up his brave front. Jett's hands were beginning to irritate me as they moved and touched Mello's exposed skin, they moved downwards touching Mello's thighs and crotch and ass. My rage was ready to boil over. Finally, after a good five seconds those damn hands of his got on my last good nerve. Nobody had the right to touch, or treat Mello as the damn pervert was. Once again, I felt that obnoxious loyalty, in which I felt towards the blonde, bubble to the surface of my very being. It mixed in with my rage and made me feel like killing the guy.

Without any second thoughts I leapt in and slammed my fist against the bastard's face. I figured he was unconscious, once he hit the floor and, so, I turned my attention to Mello, who appeared shocked by my sudden, and quite enraged appearance.

"M-Matt?"

"Hi, Mels."

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"Saving your ass from getting raped, I believe, that's what friends do, right?"

"Jackass, I fucking hate you, damn gamer, gay mother-fucking faggot!"

"Your welcome."

Jett scrambled to his feet as I untied Mello's wrists. He rushed at me and tackled me to the ground. We rolled until we were in the hall. I felt like a trapped animal as he quickly pinned my hands above my head in one hand and prepared to hit me square in the face. But he never got the chance to do that as a loud gunshot echoed through the dimness that surrounded us. Blood spattered my face and I found myself staring into dark, lifeless eyes. I shoved Jett's corpse off me and stood looking at Mello. He held a gun, I noticed that Jett was missing his gun and wondered when and how Mello got a hold of it. He glared at me and I worried that he planned on shooting me, but he tossed the gun onto the floor and stood with his back flat against the wall, taking in unsteady breaths.

"Damn, damn, damn, damn it all to hell, oh damn, how I hated him." he whispered to himself. I stood and walked back into the room casually; standing a few feet in front of him I smiled as if we were in a normal situation, in which our meeting was a happy one.

"Never thought I'd find you in such a situation, Mels."

"Why're you here?" he demanded with half lidded eyes. "Matt…"

"Mello…"

Silence.

"I've missed you." I finally said. "Where've you been? Why didn't you ever contact me? I've been worried out of my mind about you."

I stepped towards him some and watched as his blue orbs focused on me, they were filled by an angry, hurt bitterness that seeped from deep within Mello's soul. I saw that Mello was remembering our very last conversation and noticed the hurt that crossed his face. I felt as guilty as ever seeing that hurt on his beautiful face. I didn't mean any of those things, but I couldn't bring myself to tell Mello I didn't. I was muted completely by that silent pain that dwelled upon his angelic face and within his beautiful blue pools.

"I thought you hated me." Mello muttered as a response. "Remember? You told me to never come back…told me I'm a worthless dog…said you hated me…told me all of those hurtful things...and you know what, Matt? I believed everything you said, until now."

"Oh?"

"You saved me…I guess you don't hate me, after all…or you at least, just dislike me."

Soon I found myself standing inches from him.

"Don't be stupid, Mels, I _love_ you." I said pressing my forehead against his. "Not just love, either. I adore you, Mello and everything about you."

"I suppose you've got a list?"

"Yeah, I do, I've had a long while to work on it."

"Prove it, off the top of your head Matty, tell me all the things you love about me."

"I love your golden hair and how you keep it cut short. Your icy blue eyes, I've always loved those and I love how emotional you can be, and I love of how impulsive you can be at times, even when it's uncalled for. I honestly can say that I love your chocoholic ways, and the way you put your hands on your hips like a female would, and I love it when you act all bad-ass and when you beat the snot out of people and how you punched me when we were kids and of how you teased me and I love these goggles you gave me, see I'm still wearing them? I love your tastes and the way you dislike you-know-who, even though he cares about you in a weird, muted, albino way. And I love the way you pout and pretend to hold grudges against me and how you can make foul language sound like beautiful, even though it's disgusting; I love how you smirk…and…and…everything."

Before I knew it we were lip locked. We broke apart and I saw…Mello…frowning? He shouldn't have been frowning. He should have been…I don't know…smiling…smirking?

"You shouldn't have come, Matt, it's dangerous, you know?"

"Yeah, but if I hadn't come, then something really bad and traumatizing could've happened." I said seductively half lidding my eyes. "Am I right or am I right?"

"Shut up," Mello chuckled "cocky bastard."

We lip locked again and this time tongues were used. I found myself lifting Mello off the ground and felt his legs wrap themselves around my waist and his arms wrapped around my neck. Surprisingly, Mello wasn't very heavy, which for a very, very, very brief moment made me self-conscious about my own weight. I shook the thought away and licked the blonde's neck and he gave me a moan. It satisfied me to make Mello moan. It was like my own reward, and Mello never really gave me a more satisfying reward than that moan, well, excluding video games and laptops. That stuff came in second to Mello's moan, though, and my feelings of satisfaction burst. I felt a bit nervous, after all it was all happening so fast, but he didn't seem to mind anything that was going on, so I tried to ignore my nervousness. We lip locked and more tongues were used. I broke this kiss, though, I felt slightly bad about it as Mello grunted with disappointment from the loss.

"Where have you been?" I asked before I allowed myself to suck Mello's throat. I felt ready to die as he moaned, sounding breathy and loud. "You shouldn't have left, it was crazy, you drove _me_ crazy." I scolded as he moved my goggles off my forehead and down to my throat. He scowled, but couldn't contain his grin that appeared or his breathy moans, which ripped from his lips as I begun to suck on his throat again.

"D-don't you s-scold me…ah…y-you…ahh…know I-I've…ahhh…ahh…been busy."

I nodded curtly. "Fair enough, fair enough." I muttered. Suddenly Mello's eyes widened as if he realized something and he looked at me with narrowed eyes. "You're with the damn CIA aren't you?" he growled. I gave him a nod as I nipped at his exposed throat. "Y-you're gonna help Near a-aren't y-you?" he hissed the albino's name like it were a type of deadly poison. I nodded again, licking at his lips, but changed my mind quickly and unzipped his vest to start licking at his pale chest. I then remembered why I was there and why I was doing what I was with Mello. Then something clicked into my mind and I couldn't help but give Mello a look of surprise and sadness.

"You're in the Mafia." I stated with a sad sigh.

"You're in the CIA." He countered glaring at me for a moment.

A silence clouded around us.

"I'm so sorry, Matty."

"W-why are you sorry?" I asked curiously. "There isn't anything for you to be sorry about, Mels."

"You're gonna have to forget about me, Matt." He said caressing my cheek. "The deal that's going down tonight…I want you to stop it…take me hostage if you have to, which I know you will…unless you're stopped…hold a gun to my head...or maybe you could-"

"Why?" I interrupted.

"You'll get whatever you want that way, I'm too valuable for the Mafia to lose, and they know it, so you'll be able to stop the deal and get the cash for the damn SPK, a lot easier than if you trust your CIA buddies to take care of things for you. Trust me, Matt, it's the only way you'll succeed your mission. I'm hardly, if ever, wrong about these things."

"I…I…couldn't…"

"Couldn't what?"

"I couldn't threaten you, Mels." I said with a saddened sigh. "I'm not gutsy enough to try a stunt like that. Besides, that…I couldn't…I _wouldn't_ ever hurt you."

"Then, I hope you the best of luck." Mello whispered as he zipped his vest up with one hand. "I've got to get goin' the deal will start any minute, Matt, your partner is probably waiting for you...don't keep her waiting for long, or things will look suspicious."

I nodded feeling empty in the pit of my stomach.

I let Mello down to the floor and watched with sad, puppy dog eyes as he walked off.

"Oh, and Matt," he said turning back to me. "While we're discussing terms it'd be a good time for you guys to ambush us. Kay? Promise you'll ambush us." As I agreed with him I felt like I was a little kid again making a promise that I wouldn't tattle on my blonde friend after he pounded on some jerk. I always kept my promises to Mello, so he never took what I said for granted. After Mello left I, too, left and met Lexus at our assigned position. She was shocked to see my blood spattered face.

"What happened?" she gasped quietly.

"I…um…uh…I ran into a target…ya know the one called Jett?" I tried to avoid the truth, but couldn't. "Well, he got violent so I-"

"You killed him?"

"No…not exactly…I mean, yeah, he's dead, but I didn't kill him."

"Who did?"

"M-some other guy who caught us fighting." I lied. "He was pissed but said he'd let me go with a warning. Um…he was…also in the Mafia…I think."

Lexus nodded as I explained we should ambush them once they engaged in talking about business terms, she agreed and it was decided that was when we'd strike. Now, my only worry was if I'd have to use Mello as a hostage. The CIA, surely, had all exits and entrances blocked off, so anyone who tried to escape would be dead meat. Maybe, if I said that Mello was threatened and forced into this whole thing then he could avoid imprisonment or on a worse case scenario, execution. I seriously hoped Mello had a plan. Knowing Mello, of course, I did know Mello and knew that he always had a plan in that brilliant brain of his. Yeah, he'd evade capture…or at least…that's what I hoped.

The ambush was swift and I found myself pointing my gun at Mello who glared up at me still holding a laptop in his hands, nervously. Did he actually expect me to shoot? Before I could think on that matter I heard a shrill cry of pain from Lexus. "Matt!" Lexus shouted to me helplessly. I turned and saw that a guy from Mello's side had her held captive at gunpoint. That made Mello grin, rather smugly. I glared at him with false hate.

"Let us go, agent Matt or else your partner here will get her brains blown out." Mello said with a sinister smirk. "What'll it be agent Matt?"

"Everyone let them go!" I shouted to the other agents. "They have agent Lexus held hostage let them go!" Obediently some of the agents left out of the room and stood away from exits. I mentally cursed those who didn't care if Lexus got killed. I had little affection for her, but I'd grown quite fond of her, and hated the thought of her being hurt.

"Wise choice." Mello said snapping his fingers. Two of the guys ran for the door, Mello followed them glancing back to me apologetically. I scowled. I couldn't let Mello get caught, not yet. I had a mission to complete, and a friend to save.

"Everyone stay here and handle these scum I'll be in pursuit of the others!" I announced. Luckily, everyone followed orders. That was really good. They got to their car and one hopped in waiting for Mello and the one who held Lexus captive. Mello looked to me with a soft smile. I raised my gun hoping I wouldn't need to pull the trigger.

"Mello what are you doing?" the large muscular man, who held Lexus captive, demanded as Mello started to type super fast on the laptop.

"Let's go!" the driver shouted.

"One minute!" he snapped at the two. "I'm almost done."

"What are you doing Mello?" I demanded to which he gave me a soft smile.

"Something you'll like." He said continuing to type. Suddenly, he was smiling at me like he was a crazed killer, which, technically, he was a killer, but crazed? I totally doubted it. "Matt I just done you a favor…" he muttered so only I could hear him. He tossed me the laptop and smirked devilishly.

"What the-" I started.

"It's a gift." He replied.

"I changed the keyword, so that way nobody can get in…nobody, but you and…me. There are also some directions in there that you'll need if you ever wanna find me again. Understand, Matt? If you want to find me you'll have to crack the password before next week, or else you'll never see me again, for as long as you'll live." He sounded both serious and upset. I opened my mouth to speak, but he got into the car as Lexus was tossed to the ground and they drove off in a blur.

Lexus gave me a curious look. "What was that about?"

"Nothing." I lied helping her stand. "Nothing at all."

Later that night as I attempted to decipher the keyword, I became very frustrated. I tried everything I knew of, almost everything that was between Mello and me. But none worked. As I prepared to give up an idea popped into my mind. What if the keyword was not a word after all, but a number, or…perhaps…a date of some sort.

I typed in Mello's birth date and it came up, as wrong, the same for when I tried _my_ birth date. I typed in the date we met and bingo! That was it! I felt overjoyed, as I looked at all the files. I found a file that was marked as: S.S.H, which I quickly discovered meant, Special Secret Hideout. I read the directions and was glad to find out that it wasn't very far from where I was temporarily staying.

I wasn't going to let Mello get away, not this time, _not ever again_.

I lay on the comfy, hotel bed. It was soft, relaxing but I still felt tensed, as I knew that Matt would surely find out the keyword or number as I should rather say, and he'd come after me. My concerns were what he'd do after he had me cornered up in my room and I wondered, secretly, if letting him know my location was a mistake. No, he was my best friend, why would he hurt me? What motive did he…? I realized that he just needed to hate me to kill me, to hurt me. I sighed turning over onto my stomach. I started at the door blankly. I'd felt blank, hurt, betrayed, empty, hollow, and dead within my body. At times I pondered to myself and asked if that was how Near had felt.

I'd usually chuckle to myself. I would always wave that thought away. Near was Near and it was normal for Near to be emotionless, probably one of the weird quirks that came with being albino. I chuckled to myself again. It was always fun for me to have bad thoughts about Near, which I almost always did. One could call me obsessed, and I'd more or less admit to being obsessed. Obsessed with _hating _him!

Whatever.

….

Anyway, I had better or more important things to think about. Glancing to the large window I sighed. It was so depressing to feel depressed! Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. I announced it was unlocked and sighed slightly as Matt opened the door and gave me a wary look, which I returned freely. He finally sighed, relaxed and entered into the room, closing and locking the door. I got up and moved towards the window, noticing from the corner of my eye as the redhead watched my movements warily, as if expectin me to kill him…or something.

"Why'd you want me to come here, is this like a trap to kill me off?" Matt demanded sounding suspicious. I scowled looking out the window feeling and probably appearing annoyed. "Why've you come if you think all I plan on is killing you?" I snapped at him. Seriously, did Matt know me at all? Did he really think that all I wanted to do was kill? Not like I was the one who started the Mafia. I just joined up and learned about how everything operated, and the penalties and/or punishments for disobedient members and screw-ups, which were a bullet to the head or gut, simply depended on how much you wanted them to suffer. My first kill was some guy who didn't do as told and needed to be taken care of, I tried to imagine the doomed man as Near, but that didn't work, guess I didn't hate him so much when it was life or death, but Kira, yes pretending the bastard I killed was Kira made all the difference. It was easy to kill when I thought that way.

Though my tough attitude, high intelligence, social skills and short temper kept me on my boss's good side, I missed having a friend like Matt who I could trust, rely on for help and support. No, I didn't have anyone like that, I had to gain trust and plot. It was very hard for me, it was a struggle for life and I honestly expected Matt to show me some compassion or a bit of sympathy instead of thinking of me as…as…a crazy person?

I looked out the window, trying to ignore Matt and saw that it had begun to rain heavily outside. Oh, how perfect…yeah, perfect…just perfect…. Tears dribbled down from the corners of my eyes. It'd become a habit of mine to cry whenever it rained on a dark night and I remembered what went down between Matt and me, but I forgot that I wasn't alone and Matt noticed. The last thing I needed was his criticism or annoying comments or…or…oh crap, I realized in about half a nanosecond there was so much Matt could say that'd make me want to snap his neck in half. I felt his hand touch my shoulder and I whipped my head around to see him smiling softly.

"It's okay, Mels, everything is going to be okay." I said, speaking as lovingly as humanly possible. "You're not alone anymore, I know what it's like to be alone, so I understand how you feel, Mels." I whispered to him.

I couldn't hide my shock when Mello slapped away my hand giving me a death glare that would've scared anyone to death, yeah, anyone except his best friend and maybe, the emotionless albino, whom he detested, I doubted that our mentor, L would have been phased by it, but was sure it'd have amused him, slightly.

"You've no idea how alone I've felt." He scowled. "Every night and day was hell for me. I'd look around and see that my Matty wasn't around as he should've been, and I realized that I felt empty, hollow on the inside. And all the pain my heart has suffered was all because of the damned loneliness, which engulfed me in unending torment, that eventually begun wrapping around me until I suffocated and was reduced to nothing."

I looked to him in shock.

Without doubt he'd felt lonelier than I ever had. Mello was a social person and needed friends to have his back when he couldn't look out for himself and he didn't trust anyone one hundred percent, which was expected since it was the Mafia he got involved with.

"Mels, you aren't on your own anymore," I said wrapping my arms around his waist "I'm here and I'll constantly be by your side from here on out."

"All the time?"

"No matter what I'll have your back." I promised. He seemed to relax for a bit before his cell phone rang and he answered it with a vehement look.

"Hello?"

I gave him a playful smirk as he cursed loudly, realizing he was speaking with Near.

"How did you get this number? What do you mean that's confidential? This is my phone! You can't just stalk me around to find out my freakin number you crazed albino freak! I don't care if that was cruel, you're not supposed to call me! What? Why?"

Before I knew it Mello tossed me the phone.

"Yeah?"

"Hello Matt." Near's monotone voice replied.

"Oh, hi Near, how are you?" I asked seeing Mello glowering at me.

"Able-bodied." He replied and I heard a click in the background. I guessed he was playing with a puzzle or with some building blocks. "And you?"

"Oh, um, I'm okay." I said caught off guard by his inquiry. "I mean I'm not dead and-"

"And Mello?" Near interrupted.

"Uh, you've talked to him, he's Mello." I said with a sigh. "You know you always seem to be concerned with how Mel-"

"I don't care about your observation Matt." Near interrupted again. "I merely want to thank you for completing your mission successfully. Anyone else would have been stupid enough to screw it all up and ruin everything."

"Oh, well, um, thanks?" I said trying not to sound confused. "Near why do you keep interrupting me when I-"

"Bye." His hollow voice said. "I'll call later." Then he hung up.

I sighed as Mello continued his glowering. "What?" I finally demanded. Mello gave a sigh before falling flat on his back on the bed. "You're so clueless." He mumbled.

"Oh fu-"

"Be careful what you say Matty, one day it'll get you into trouble." Mello warned sending a dangerous glare my way. "Like today maybe."

"Huh? T-today?"

"Or how about right now?"

"Now? What are you taking a-"

"No more talking Matt you know I know what you know you want."

"Huh?"

"Want me to repeat myself?"

"More slowly please."

Mello laughed madly like he was insane and I felt like I had entered the Twilight Zone.

"What?" I asked blushing.

"You're totally turned on!" He giggled.

"No I'm not!"

He smirked at me evilly and I felt a chill snake its way down my body. The blonde frowned as he shook his head in disbelief. I blushed a deeper red as he got up and marched his way over to me like some solider. I suddenly found myself thinking of Near with his toy robots and action figures. Mello must've read my mind because a kick was delivered to my private parts and I fell to the ground moaning in pain that was beyond my belief. I looked up to Mello as soon as the pain disappeared and he glared down at me. "What was that for?" I demanded as he pulled me to my feet.

"Were you thinking about that freaky albino twit?" Mello demanded.

"You mean Near?" I murmured. "Yeah so?"

"Never think about him when I'm around got it?"

"Yeah boss." I replied rolling my eyes. "What do I think about, then? It's either you or L or Kira or Near or computers or games…mostly games…lots and lots of games."

Mello rolled his icy pools eyes and looked down at my crotch saying, "How about that boner you got? Why not think about that?" I blushed a scarlet red as I looked down at the bulge in my jeans, then back to Mello who had his hands on his hips and was giving me a smug look knowing he _was_ right and he _did_ turn me on. I noticed that he also had a bulge in his leather pants, which _had_ to be skintight. I swallowed hard as we both got the same idea at the same time only to be interrupted by Mello's cell phone, which wailed loudly. He looked at the caller ID and shrugged carelessly and hurled the phone across the room where it hit a wall and smashed into like a hundred pieces.

"Want to have some fun?" he asked with a smirk.

"Sure, why not?" I said feeling my heart beat faster. Mello pulled his rosary off and sat it down on the windowsill I smirked pulling my goggles off and setting them down beside Mello's rosary. He was the first to get on the bed and I foolishly thought that it meant he was going to let me be top. Note: Mello hates when you think he's going to be the bitch. Yeah, I quickly found myself in a headlock with the blonde jokingly threatening to snap my neck for my foul up. I laughed…nervously…very nervously….

I knew he wouldn't kill me, but still…

I wouldn't put anything past Mello.

He topped me as he tugged my striped shirt off, rather forcefully, might I add. I removed his vest in return and was surprised to find that he was paler than I was and that he was more muscular. I was taller and younger, but I'd rather be the muscular guy who tops the other guy during sex. Whatever. Not like it really mattered as long as I was with Mello. Mello obviously knew me very well, because he knew what I was thinking.

"Matt…" he breathed laying next to me about an hour or so later after the sex was over with…he was such a sadist…all he wanted to really do was tease me.

"Yeah?"

"If you wanna be top then screw Near."

"What?" I gasped in disbelief.

"Older tops younger."

"Who worked that system out?"

"Why?"

"Because it really sucks!"

The blonde laughed as he exhaled. "Not for me."

"Besides I'm like a year behind you." I pointed out. "Not much older."

"Who's the oldest person in this room, Matt, huh?" Mello asked with a cruel, yet playful smirk. "It sure as hell isn't you."

"Prick."

"Douche."

"Pain."

"Geek."

"Pussy."

"Creep."

"P-"

"What's with all the 'P's?" he scoffed.

"I've no clue." I giggled in reply. "I just have weak insults right now."

"You are weak."

"Bite me you-OW!"

He bit me! I wasn't serious, but he bit me! And it hurt like a bitch! He laughed while I whimpered and my flesh bruised. He called _me _a pussy and a wimp and a softie. Well, at least he _couldn't_ call me a virgin, which by the way is _one_ of the _worst _insults that can be tossed a guy's way, I think that it damages our pride or…well, a _normal _guy's way. I knew that Mello wouldn't care if I called him because he wasn't and we both knew it.

"Is N-OW!"

That jackass!

He bit me again!

And before I could even say anything!

That jackass, oh crap, that hurt!

"No." he said firmly. "Near's not a virgin. Actually he lost it _before_ you."

"What? How the hell did _that_ happen?"

"W-we…uh…I um…it was…uh…a mistake?"

"What? Oh man! No way!"

Mello nodded rolling his eyes.

"Is that why you hate him so much?"

"No, I thought it'd be accounted as rape, but he wanted it, so it was accounted as sex."

"You're both twisted." I snickered. "Both twisted and weird."

And then the pain came again.

"OW!" I wailed as he let go of my bruised collarbone. "Knock that off!"

"Sorry, but you _did _say that I could bite you."

Mello and his humor…

Not very funny!

"Man I think I'm going to bruise." I whimpered.

"Quite being such a wimp." He sighed.

I nodded and mumbled that he was right under my breath and started to get dressed along with him. I finished dressing by putting my goggles on around my neck. I really liked those goggles. It was after all, my favorite, most cherished possession. I promised myself that from that day on I'd live up to my promise and always be by the blonde's side.

No matter what I would be at his side.

Whether he led me to Russia or Japan or America…whether he'd take me to Heaven or Hell…no matter where he'd go…I promised myself that I'd be sure to follow. I knew the risk that I was taking…but I didn't care…I honestly didn't care if I was risking my life.

Mostly…because…I knew…that…I'd follow Mello into the dark….

And never emerge….

And neither would he…Mello and I was both…going to die….

To avenge L…and help Near…take down Kira.


End file.
